Learning to love myself started with questioning the voice in my head

I used to think self-love meant saying nice things to myself in the mirror or repeating affirmations until I believed them. But no matter how many times I tried, the same quiet, critical voice was always louder. It said things like “You’re not doing enough,” “You should be further ahead by now,” “People don’t really see you that way.”

Then I read 7 Lies Your Brain Tells You: And How to Outsmart Every One of Them, and it explained something I’d never really considered - that my brain wasn’t trying to be cruel, it was trying to protect me. That voice was built from old fears and habits that once kept me safe but now just keep me small.

Self-love, I realized, isn’t about forcing positivity - it’s about recognizing when your brain is lying to you and choosing compassion instead of criticism. It’s a quiet kind of strength.

If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own self-talk, I genuinely recommend this book. It’s one of those ones that doesn’t just tell you to love yourself - it helps you understand why that voice in your head fights back when you try.