Our story

To start, I am reminded of the Tolstoy quote, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." I appreciate this community; reading the stories helps me. Therefore, I thought I'd share mine/ours. We used to make love (I choose this phrase deliberately) 4-5 times a week. Then, my wife got seriously ill with a chronic disease. I am now her caregiver, which I am glad to provide because I love her very much. She stood by me when I was seriously ill, and I am glad now to be able to care for her. She is in chronic pain with other disabilities. I seriously admire her courage. However, all physical intimacy has gone out the window 10 years ago. Like almost all of you, I have mourned (and still do) the loss of something I enjoyed. I have also wrestled with "my needs." However, I have come to understand that no one and no situation can meet all my needs. I have to pick and choose which needs go "unfulfilled". There are days it is difficult and I feel sorry for myself, but I try to focus on the good parts of our relationship and embrace where she does continue to meet my needs. I maybe polly-anna, but I would like to think the situation has not happened by random chance. Maybe it is an opportunity for me to grow. I am learning that pain is an inevitable part of life, serving as a fundamental aspect of the human experience that can lead to ggrowth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of happiness. A deeper understanding of happiness. I sure have not reached that yet, but I'm working on it. It is good to know that you are there too, and we are in this together.