My Bf 30M and I 29M are having problems and decided to try one last time last night. Please help me with processing this. I know this is pretty messy.

My bf 30m and I 29m have been together almost 6 years and have a house together. We have been going through a pretty rough time recently. We have an open relationship and met a guy to be friends with but also hookup with. I have been very supportive and friendly with this guy and he has really enjoyed my friendship and support. I have came to like him more than a friend and my bf knows that. The guy also knows that I like him because I was honest with him about it. He said he didn’t want any drama for either one of our relationships. My bf and I got into an argument Sunday and I was sure we broke up because in the middle of talking he made himself single on FB, removed himself from my family group chats and removed me from his family group chat and also reached out to his mom saying things aren’t working and that he’s moving back this weekend. He now is wanting to work on things but then told me Sunday night that he’s wanting to drag me through the mud on Facebook to show everyone that I’m a POS and that he’s wanting to message the guy’s husband to let him know what all is going on. He did ask me if I am choosing him or the other guy. I told him I wasn’t giving up the friendship with the other guy. I feel at times like I’m with a Psycho and that it’s manipulative of him to tell me if I leave him he’s going to message the guys husband. The guy is going through a separation and will be divorcing him later on. My bf says he loves me but I can’t get that bad taste out of my mouth about his comment about telling the guys husband. The guy messaged me today saying we needed to talk and how that he is just nervous that my feelings will cause drama in both of our relationships. Come to find out, my bf had been messaging the guy and telling him about the problems and most likely making the guy feel like it’s his fault. My bf also told me one day that he doesn’t like being intimate because he was molested years ago. I told him that I was sorry but he should’ve told me early on. He then said that he wasn’t actually molested but people liked to touch his butt. Last night we sat down and openly discussed how we felt, what we liked about each other, what we didn’t like, the changes we’d need to see and decided to give it some more time to see if things get better. Honestly I woke up this morning with a thought that I wish I would’ve ended things. I do not feel emotionally or mentally connected with him right now and it’s bothering me a lot. He told me last night that he’s willing to make all these changes because he loves me but I don’t feel like it’s love when you have to morph someone into the person you are wanting. I’m also trying to figure out my emotions for the other guy. I feel drawn and pulled into him. We have had deeper talks and I feel very comfortable and at ease when I’m around him. I was at his place this past weekend and felt the most relaxed I have felt in years while we cuddled and I massaged him while watching tv. The guy has said he wants a non pressure, comforting and friendly vibe so I’ve been making sure to give him that. I don’t want him feeling like he’s causing this because it’s my emotions and not his (that I know of). In ways I think about becoming single to pay my stuff off and work on me but I have the thought in the back of my mind that I would be down to be patient and wait on him to become available. This is the only time in our relationship that I’ve felt this strongly towards another man. He gives off this calming and comforting energy that makes you want to be around him all the time. In ways I just want to walk and leave the relationship because I feel like we just aren’t good together and that I’ll never get what I need from him. Please tell me what you see or provide some advice