I feel so guilty for being like this...

All things considered, I have a pretty good life. Yeah, my childhood was bad, but I don't think it was enough to lead to this. I feel so miserable all the time now, despite having a wonderful partner who supports me. I don't have to get a job, I never really have to worry about money at all, I'm loved, I have pets that I adore, a stable living situation, I'm able to get professional help, but I'm still like this. It gets harder and harder as the days go on. I'm barely ever hungry anymore and my new meds completely destroy my appetite. I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to waste away.

I want to believe that I can get better, I know I believe that other people can, but for some reason I believe I'm the outlier. I think I just don't want to put in the work to get better... I go to therapy and I can't do any of the work, everything shuts down. I'm so tired. It's so defeating to have so much help and support and still feel like this.