Feeling deflated and just need to vent

Hi all,

Trying to make a long story short. Been playing since I was 4, and have always been a center... winning faceoffs was something I really prided myself on, and even when nothing else in my game was going right, I knew I could at least do that. Played high school hockey, and ACHA club for 2 years, so certainly not terrible.

I picked up a men's league team back in 2010, played with them until the pandemic hit, then when they started back up, life got busy with two kids and I stepped away from the game. The itch to come back this year was overwhelming, so I messaged my old team captain asking if he had a spot, and he asked me to give him a few weeks to see how the roster shook out, but then he messaged me just before the season started (right after Labor Day) and said he had a spot for me.

It's been 5+years since playing men's league, so it took a few games to shake the rust off, but I'm starting to feel better, and in those games when I play center, I'm winning at least half my faceoffs, and the other centers I know who can beat me, I'm tying them up and letting my wingers come in.

Last night, I was getting my ass handed to me at the dot, and I lost the first 3 or 4 I took. I got to the bench after one shift and said "I'm not winning any of these, I'm just going to tie the guy up for you guys to come in and clean it up," to which the aforementioned captain said "Or you could, you know, relinquish the position to someone else. You lose all your faceoffs. I don't understand your fascination with the position, you don't seem to understand it, you don't play it defensively... I don't get why you always play there."

I was shocked. I protested, saying are you kidding me? I usually win my faceoffs, and if I'm that bad then fuckin' tell me, I've been on your team for years. I spent the rest of the night playing left wing, but just felt utterly fucking deflated.

Yes, it is 30+ men's league (not even sure where it would grade, maybe a B?), and a 10:30 game, so no one's job is on the line here. But it was just really upsetting... the one thing I think I'm doing well, and the leader of the team says "no you suck at this." And for him not to tell me or try to direct me on it for so long is also upsetting.

IDK, I don't want to quit, but I also feel like shit, like some sort of imposter syndrome has been confirmed. This sucks, and it doubly sucks that I'm upset about Wednesday night beer league hockey.

TL;DR long-time men's league teammate shit all over my game, and I feel pretty awful about it.