Mechanic Rant/Question: Reuniting the empire by force

So, a little rant, which is also a question:

I had a kingdom in China, and then the empire broke apart; as it does. Then the reconquest wars began. I did a few, they did a few. Eventually a larger kingdom attacked me, and I thought that that would be fine: I don't want to be emperor anyway, I want to be a art of the administration.

But then when I lose, I am forced to be an adventurer? I lose my estate and I cant just be a nobleman?
I understand that I'd lost most of my titles, but losing my estate and status as a nobleman feels like shitty game mechanics, primarily because it means that if you are an intendent, and then the empire falls apart, it is become the emperor or become an adventurer, with no in-betweens....

Is there a way to avoid this issue/make sure I stay as a noble?