DAE struggle with oppositional defiance behavior in relation to their migraines

Like, with everything I do/have done to manage my migraines, I “should be able” to do everything I want without getting a migraine (in theory/in my fantasy mind)? So I do those things, like stay up too late all the time, because I feel like I “should be able to”, but again and again, it’s clear that I can’t, but I keep doing them anyway.

Is anyone else like this? This feels like an act of frustration that I’m “not like other people” (aka healthy, normal, not chronically ill people).

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else sort of subconsciously engage in “triggers” like this in some sort of oppositional defiance/frustration and feel open to discussing it, because I am struggling with this and it’s really annoying.

I guess I just wish I could be normal, like chronically healthy people, do whatever I want without consequences (like stay up late or eat salami) and it’s just an acceptance process.