Somehow Screwing Up Even When Preparing In Advance

In roughly the same 24 hours, I forgot two important things that impacted my work and more than likely my reputation. And what makes me so upset is that these items were prepared and right in front of my face before I left for my commitments.

Had a choir concert, was completely dressed nearly 45 minutes before call time. I was reviewing my music at the door. Then I went to grab a protein bar and then left to go to the venue, was 20 minutes early. And still somehow I didn't recognize that my binder wasn't with me until five minutes before call time and I couldn't go back to get it.

The next day, roughly the same time, I had work at a concert venue where I'd be scanning tickets. Employers are required to wear clear bags and park away from the venue. The walk to the venue was 10 minutes. I had my clearbag in the car, pulled up roughly 15 minutes early. Didn't remember to transfer my stuff into the clearbag until I was literally right in front of the door at the security check point.

To have this happen back to back even when things were set and ready and despite going early to prevent this is making me want to just quit everything - quit working, quit hobbies that require me to be punctual. Like I want to be taken seriously but even when I took steps to prepare it still didn't work out.

If anyone tells you that ADHD is an excuse to be lazy, call them a liar straight to their face. It's exhausting, and I have been on the verge of tears since waking up this morning.

(Also, please don't mention meds - not because I don't want them or because I think I don't need them, but I'm not in a good place financially to even consider them right now. I pray it turns around soon)