Title: I miss my old friends so much, and I hate that making new ones feels impossible now.

I’ve been missing my old friends a lot lately. Especially my school ones. Back in college, I used to think they were irreplaceable — and somehow, even after that, I ended up missing my college friends too. Now that I’m in postgrad, I hate how hard it feels to make new friends. Everything feels awkward and shallow. People say you just need to “get to know” others, but I don’t even feel like opening up anymore. I don’t want to explain myself or tell people things that made me who I am.

The one school friend I still talk to — it always feels so genuine. No pretending, no weirdness. Just real comfort. Here, though, I always feel anxious talking to people. Everyone’s so… different. Sometimes I wish someone could just understand me without me having to say anything. I know that’s silly, but I can’t help it.

It’s strange how, at 21, I already feel like making new real friends might never happen again. I just miss my people. My old friends. I miss how easy it all used to be.