How many of you got fleas?

As in the title, when I met her she was in such a bad emotional state , with eating disorder, fat, depressed ,not working . It was so difficult to make her fictional again ,and od course at my own cost . Eventually she lost plenty of weight ( due to surgical operation, but did not gain it again), she got emotionally better and for a while she seemed to be as stable as she could be - still with occasional melt downs , anxiety and so on, but functioning , she got a job , first one she lost because she meltdown there fee times , but the second one she was okay ( maybe because I think she idealised a guy there and I suspect was fucking him ) , anyway as I think about it now , it seems to me the the better she was getting , the worse I was emotionally feeling . I do not want to demonize her , but it seems a little as if she was sucking all my happiness and mental and emotional well being . I was 41 when met her and never before depressed or with addictions or eating disorders , quite small and I was always quite slim between 64kg and 75kg. After 2 years with her , I was binch eating , gain so much weight just before the discard I was almost 90kg , I was so depressed with so much anxiety and drinking a lot and smoking cigarettes again . 2 years after discard I am still an emotional wreck and probably with PTSD, but I do not drink , the eating disorder is gone , I lost 8kg and still losing and many unhealthy coping mechanisms gone .... It looks like my nervous system was constantly in some survival mode with her , even though I was not aware of that .