Friendship advice please

For a few weeks now, I’ve noticed my friend Sue being more distant. I figured she was just stressed with her new job, so I tried not to take it personally and be understanding. Her birthday was at the beginning of October, and I really wanted to make some travel plans or even go out for just a drink, I even put together a gift basket. Our schedules never lined up, and it felt impossible to see her, so I ended up leaving the basket outside her door (we’re neighbors).

The whole month, we only hung out twice, once with her husband for drinks and once just us at the gym. I thought things were fine, but I still had this gut feeling something else was going on.

We had made plans for my Halloween party, which, if you know me, is a big deal. It’s honestly more important to me than my birthday. Friends fly in from other states every year for it. Ive mentioned many times how important it was to me, and she said she’d be there. (We even talked about costumes and stuff"

Earlier that week, I mentioned some other weekend plans and she said, “Thank you for inviting my husband, he’s sad and tired of not being invited to these girls-only activities.” That kind of threw me off we do a girls’ night once a month, and we also do movie nights with my husband and hers once a month (or try to), so it felt like a weird comment. I wondered if that’s why she’d been distant.

Anyway, Halloween comes, and she doesn’t show up, even though she literally lives next door. At 11:30pm (party started at 7), she texts: “Hii husband name had a migraine and wasn’t feeling well, so took some meds and laid down for a nap. Was waiting for him to wake up to see if he still wants to go over together, but probably not anymore.”

The next day, I told her: “Not happy you didn’t come. Halloween is really important to me, people fly in from other states to be here and you live next door. You couldn’t even let me know you weren’t coming or say sorry? Not a good friend thing to do.”

She hasn’t responded, and probably won’t. She’s avoidant and non-confrontational, but she really hurt my feelings. Lately, it just feels like she doesn’t care about our friendship or like im trying to force the friendship out of her.

I obviously can’t forgive her without an apology but even if she does apologize, I think it’ll still be hard to forgive. Any thoughts or advice?