I regret everything

Throwaway because I don’t want anyone knowing this is me. Sorry if things are spelled wrong I’m crying while writing this and sorry for the grammar too. I’m 19 and been with my boyfriend for 4 years but since getting pregnant he’s treated me so bad. I cry all day, I love my son already I’m 27 weeks but I’m so heartbroken I regret going through with this because I know I’m gonna be so shitty as a parent because i genuinely thought his dad would be a good dad. So I went through with the pregnancy, now he’s clearly shown me he. Dosnt give a sht about me or my baby. Im struggling so so badly, I have a big family but no ones knows what’s going on because im so embarrassed. Im so so so embarrassed I always told myself this wouldn’t happen to me and now im just completely heart broken and shattered and I feel like a shell of myself. Im such a selfish person for going through with a pregnancy where his dad dosnr even care about him or me he didn’t deserve this (my son). He hasn’t even bought any baby stuff even though he earns more than me, I have been using all my money to buy absolutely everything and make his room up but I just feel like such a failure. The only thing I’m lucky about in this pregnancy is I’m low risk and my mum is so amazing, I haven’t told her anything but I’m sure she senses it because she’s always doing things to cheer me up and makes sure to tell me how loved me and the naby are. I’m not even going to say don’t judge me because I wpuld probably judge me too.