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This is something I’ve been struggling with for a while, and I’m not even sure how to process it anymore. When I was younger, my older sister did some things that really affected me. I’ve tried to move on and not think about it because it’s still painful, but lately she’s been bringing it up again — even mentioning it to family — and it’s reopening old wounds.

I’m not saying I’ve been perfect either. I’ve made mistakes, especially when drinking, and I’ve apologized for things I might have done that upset her. But it still doesn’t feel right for her to use something so personal and painful against me.

She’s been calling me “creepy” because of things that happened when I was blacked out and can’t even remember. I know that drinking isn’t an excuse, but it’s confusing and painful to have my past thrown at me when I’ve been trying to take responsibility and heal.

I’m just really lost about how to handle all of this. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to keep reliving the past — I just want peace and a way to move forward.