I hate having social anxiety as an adult

I(F21) have anxiety all my life. I don’t remember a single social event where I didn’t panic and get anxious. It’s been like this since and I can’t take it anymore. I know that in adult life people will only reward those who present themselves especially in school or work. I’m still in university and I am struggling to have friends because I’m an irregular student. Right now I have FAILED my midterm for a major subject because I pass my projects late and also I was fucking afraid to ask questions from my classmates.

Do I fear rejection and being dislike? Yes. But it’s ironic since I get rejected most of the time. I thought I can build tolerance around it but I have only to get more absorbed.

I avoid socializing and approaching first to get rid of the rapid heartbeat and annoying stomach ache whenever I’m anxious. I feel like I was about to vomit from my anxiety. I hate it so much. I hate that I am this sensitive. I feel like I can never succeed in life because I am suppressing myself even though it’s not on purpose.

How can I just don’t care about people’s perceptions of me? How do I stop being so sensitive. I have missed out everything in my life because of this.