Im really in a dilemma whether to go to grandmother's terhavi

So she passed away at 80. Since it was in a different city which was pretty far and I couldn't travel alone at night being a girl, my parents told me not to come for the cremation.

However now the terhavi is approaching and i practically cannot make it imo. I've placement tests going on which are a lot of emotional stress (there's cpi criteria yada yada so many companies already aren't open for me) and then they have tests every day. Like literally no break. And I've to submit my thesis and present that too along with my endsems being 4 days apart if I were to take that 12 hrs long trip back and forth.

I honestly do not find it practical given the emotional and physical baggage I'd have to deal with if I do go over there. Not to mention I am an atheist and I feel the ceremonies are more for the family's peace than the deceased ones. But even then had it been a different time or even last year or even a month apart from my placement tests, i would have gone in a heartbeat to keep my family's heart.

However this time it's putting me in a spot. Relatives gonna bitch ofc if I don't go. But relatives also gonna bitch when I don't land a job. Especially since this is something that starts my career.

Truth be told I don't want to go. I loved her and she lived a well off life and did not have any major diseases at all which is truly great. But this ceremony..