i’m not sure what to name this

this is very vague, but for more background I have been trying to “fix” ? a few things for quite a while, but I’m not really sure if I’m capable of it or even how to. Recently I got caught with 🍃 during school (I will not state my age as I feel uncomfortable) but now i am required to do an impact program, but even that is not enough to get me to quit. i tried to at first but the first day quitting was absolutely terrible. i threw up so many times and couldn’t sleep or eat for DAYS. i lost so much weight and after that i feel like i’ve just given up. i still do smoke but after i do, now it just feels wrong. i KNOW i need to quit especially because charges will be made if i come back positive in future drug tests but i need a replacement? or advice, or really anything. just what can i do when I’m so bad without it?