"Star Trek: The TOS Movies" Review

Star Trek: The Motion Picture – A Not So Esoteric Review

Star Trek: The Motion Picture moves at the pace of a starship stuck in first gear, and trimming twenty minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. It is slow, it is kinda boring, and yet somehow that cosmic dullness becomes strangely hypnotic. The movie leans hard into lofty mystery, giving you vibes of a spiritual pilgrimage through a celestial library. No pew-pew explosions or Star Wars swagger here, just thoughtful staring into the unknowable. It might not thrill, but it definitely intrigues, like a weird art film wearing a Starfleet uniform.

6,5/10

Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan – A Wratthy Review

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan may be hailed as the GOAT, but the first hour feels like a nap disguised as cinema. The vibe isn’t deep like the first movie, it’s just… waiting for something to happen. Then suddenly the last 45 minutes kick in with surprise sons, dramatic screams, space nebula couture, and heartbreak that finally makes Shatner act like a human being. Spock’s death hits like a photon torpedo to the soul and almost redeems everything that came before. I’m torn, yet honestly I might still take the trippy cosmic library of film one over half a movie of sleepy buildup with a spicy finish.

6/10

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock – A C’est La Vie Review

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock is the first TOS movie that finally decides to be fun instead of a sedative. It throws grief, friendship, hope, brain-meld melodrama, Klingon chaos, and some legitimately epic moments into one wild sci-fi smoothie. Shatner actually acts, Christopher Lloyd serves unhinged villain energy, the Enterprise heist is iconic, and that fiery showdown gives Mustafar déjà vu. The movie absolutely feels like an extra large TV episode, yet a great TV episode beats a dull movie every single time. David’s death is so clumsy you almost laugh before remembering you are supposed to care. The finale ceremony is peak dramatic camp, like Brendan Fraser’s Mummy visiting Planet of the Apes, and honestly I was living for it.

8/10

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home – A WhooWhiiiOooh Review

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home wraps up the Wrath of Khan trilogy with a wink, a whale, and zero need for phasers. It trades space battles for slapstick time travel, somehow turning “save the whales” into the most charming environmental PSA ever filmed. The whole thing plays like a sci-fi spoof that actually gets the joke, equal parts Free Willy and Home Alone with warp drive. The new scientist lady is great fun, though her choice to ditch her entire 20th-century life for the future screams “girl, you sure about that?” Watching the crew go from intergalactic fugitives to celebrated heroes feels oddly heartwarming, with Kirk’s demotion to captain landing like the happiest punishment ever. It’s cozy, silly, and totally eighties—perfect for a lazy rainy afternoon when you just want your sci-fi with a side of absurdity.

7/10

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier – An Ungodly Review

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier might be everyone’s favorite punching bag, but honestly, it’s just fine—aggressively, unapologetically fine. The rocket boots are ridiculous, Scotty bonking his head is peak physical comedy, and the trio of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy feel like three grumpy retirees on one last road trip before the nursing home. The whole “God… or whatever” storyline is absurd, yet charmingly so, and Kirk’s “what does God need with a starship?” line deserves an ironic standing ovation. Beneath the camp and chaos, there’s genuine emotional heft in McCoy’s euthanasia flashback that hits harder than expected for 1989 sci-fi. Sure, the movie’s broke, Shatner’s stressed, and the effects scream “we ran out of budget by Wednesday,” but there’s a scrappy warmth to it all. Not good, not bad, just okay—and honestly, in the wild world of Star Trek, okay can be kind of beautiful.

6/10

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country – A Normal Movie Review

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country aims for Shakespearean grandeur but lands closer to “space courtroom procedural with extra lighting.” It’s the most boring Trek since Khan, and somehow that feels poetically fitting given it’s the same director. The Klingons act more like cranky humans with prosthetics than fearsome warriors, which kills the mystique faster than a bad Hamlet quote. On the bright side, Kirk’s hair is doing heroic work, and the improved effects finally make space look like space instead of glittery soup. The farewell at the end is sweet but far too brief—like getting a hug cut off mid-squeeze. It’s not a disaster, just a shrug in movie form, floating gently into the credits whispering, “yeah… that happened.”

6,5/10

Overall: 6,66/10