I (19F) don’t know if I’m attracted to my boyfriend (19M)

Hey guys, I really need some advice (please no judgment). I’m 19 and so is my boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost 3 months, but we’ve known each other for about 6. Lately I’ve been really confused about my feelings.

I tend to overthink a lot when it comes to relationships. My mind keeps questioning everything — like “Do I really love him?”, “Is he the right one?”, “Am I actually attracted to him?”, or “Am I wasting my time?” I know these thoughts probably come from anxiety, but they feel so real that it’s hard to tell what’s true and what’s not.

The thing is… he’s the perfect boyfriend. He’s sweet, respectful, mature for his age, smart, funny, genuinely caring — just a really good person. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have him, and honestly, he’s objectively attractive too. At first, I didn’t find him physically my type, but his personality made me fall for him, and eventually I started finding him really handsome.

Last week, I was literally looking at him thinking, “Wow, he’s so good-looking, I’m so in love.” But yesterday we spent the whole day and night together, and suddenly all I could notice were little flaws. It felt like I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. This happens a lot — one week I’m deeply in love, the next I feel emotionally distant and unsure.

I know we’re young, but I’ve already been in a serious relationship before — one that was toxic and made me feel small. My current boyfriend is the opposite, and that makes me appreciate him even more. I like to think I’m mature for my age, maybe too mature sometimes, because I tend to reflect and analyze every single feeling until I end up confusing myself.

What’s hardest is that when those “I don’t like him” thoughts show up, they completely take over. I can only see his flaws and can’t feel any love or attraction at all. But then other times, I feel so in love, I want to make him happy, be close to him, and spend all my time with him. It’s like living in two totally different realities, and I never know which one to trust.

I just don’t know what to believe anymore. Has anyone else experienced this kind of emotional switch? How do you tell when your though are just thoughts or reality?

TDLR: I’m 19 and my boyfriend (also 19) is basically perfect — kind, mature, respectful, and attractive. But my feelings keep switching: sometimes I’m completely in love and want to be with him all the time, and other times I feel distant and not attracted at all. I can’t tell if it’s just anxiety and overthinking or if my feelings are actually fading.