kinda stressing rn

idk this is gonna sound so dumb but i need to talk about it for a sec

also i don't know for sure if this is actually related to ocd but it might? idk i got diagnosed a couple weeks ago and now i have so many things that i think could be ocd but also might nott

so basically about a year ago i started stressing a lot about whether or not i was an alcoholic or not and i eventually convinced myself i 100% for sure was and had to stop drinking immediately (which worked with 0 issue actually which makes me think this whole thing could've been ocd-related) a couple weeks ago i actually got so stressed out about it again that i got really close to going to an aa meeting, i eventually was able to calm down tho.

so the current issue is that i drank 1 shot of vodka last night and i still feel kinda terrible about it and i'm still stressing like what if i actually am an alcoholic and now i broke >1 yr of being sober for nothing ... i was so nauseaus like all of last night even after i had food and like 2 ltrs of water

bruh i feel so dumb writing this, i actually really need to find a therapist but making phone calls is actual hell to me so ...