Think I'm getting a period back☹️

Haven't had a period in 2 years from restriction. I lowk fell really badly into b/p ~1 year ago and gained >!20lbs!<from my lw. Have slowly lost some weight again cus I've been scared of getting it back even though I'm still uw and disordered. The past 2 weeks I've been having hella weight fluctuations which was foreshadowing i think. Today I wiped and there was blood. Im not even TOO unhappy with my weight/body that's whats fucked up. Hopefully its just spotting or something idfk ts is so triggering. I cant take it anymore I just threw up the meal I've had so far today. I'm sick of this body and its stupid useless "functions" the dysphoria is killing me I cant handle this bs right now all day Ive been locked up in the bathroom having panic attacks and crying Im tired I dont wanna do this all over again