I’m so mad at myself

I feel so trapped…and stuck inside myself I haven’t left the house in months…I’m so scared at the thought of it, knowing I’ll have to interact with someone ….im disappointed in my self so much I feel so disgusted…its my bfs birthday soon n I really want to get him a switch I can’t get it delivered….so id have to go to the mall to get it…..that means ill have to take the bus and I can’t….theres way to many people…i hate myself so much I hate the way people look at me I hate how I feel so awkward that I stand out and make people uncomfortable…..I hate being perceived.

what’s something small that helped you?