AITA? Organic triad, but want to reconnect with an old partner... Need advice.

Background: I was in a marriage for 24 yrs with my high school boyfriend (P), who was unwilling to grow up with me. We got married when I was 16 because we had a baby and his mother said she would not have an illegitimate grandchild. We started swinging in 2011 as a way to expand our marriage as I was the only person he had ever had sex with. We started with a couple (C&R) who we met through the internet. The male (C) and I clicked instantly, and had a relationship, including a very strong friendship, that lasted approximately 8 years off and on, some of which was known between all 4 of us, but a lot of sneaking around to have sex (including a BDSM relationship) for me and him. He had told me early on that she knew how often we were meeting and playing together and was cool with it. P was also aware of some of it, but not all, as he was traveling for work at the time, sometimes gone as long as 6 weeks at a time, leaving me with 3 kids to take care of alone.

Fast forward to 2017, P and I started hanging out with a couple (T & T) who we had known for 6 years and who's kids where close in age to our youngest child. When we learned that they were also swingers, we began having a sexual relationship with them as well. It was then that I realized that I was not as happy as I thought and that I was consistently doing things to make others happy.

At this point, I realized that I was not happy with my relationship with P (and hadn't been for a long time) and needed to work on myself. I filed for divorce and became the partner to an established couple forming an organic triad with T & T, but cut ties with C because he told me he had lied about R knowing about us meeting up. It gave me an icky feeling and my girlfriend was not okay with it either. I didn't want to be a dirty little secret.

I focused on my relationships with my triad, and we ended up buying a house together in 2023 and have been living together since. Our relationships are nowhere near perfect, but we are mostly happy in our lives.

Fast forward to today, I have been working with an LGBTQIA positive therapist, learned how to set boundaries and have gotten my head somewhat straightened out. My mother passed away almost 1 year ago, and I have been able to focus on working through trauma from my childhood. I am doing so much better now, and have even left a very toxic job.

A few nights ago, we met mutual friends fiance, who looks a lot like C and my girlfriend T said "We never actually met C, just R at a swingers party." And ever since then I have thought about how much I miss them.

I want to date C openly, with his wife & my partners being aware and even involved in the sex when the time is right... I am just struggling with telling my triad how I feel as I don't want them to feel like they are not enough, but I miss our conversations and friendship, but I also miss the BDSM/sexual relationship that we had.

AITA if now I want to reconnect with C?