HOW TO DE-SCENT HUMANS?

DOCTOR LOG: DR. ICARUS VENUSULPHUR - HEAD DOCTOR OF THE JUPITER

LOG TIME: 0927 HOURS

Relevant General Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_odour_and_sexual_attraction

Source Limitations: cross-species interactions/compatibility. Excessive reliance on primary sources. Source age.

Good day, members of the Galactic Prison Board (GPB). I am Dr. Icarus Venusulphur, and I have had a situation arise.

For context, I am the attending doctor on The Jupiter. We at The Jupiter specialize in containment of deathworlder and higher threat violent criminals. However, we do not like to view them as inmates. All of the criminals sentenced to The Jupiter are sent for rehabilitation.

With all this said, we do not sedate our patients or put them in cryogenic cells unless they are uncontrollable. We try to reason with them, get them to use their higher reasoning.

We have had to sedate one patient three days in a row.

I thought I was losing progress with the patient at first, known in our systems as Z-8368. However, his clan called him Rime Frost, Frost for short. I use this name in one-on-one addresses, since the patient has responded favorably in the past.

However, for the last three days, Z-8368 has immediately responded to my mere presence with yelling, throwing, and assaults to me and my staff.

Z-8368 claims he smells “female” on me. I cannot pick up on any off smells on me, given I’m not a carbon-based life form but a silicone-based, sulphur-dependent one. Frost is a 23-paired chromosome, carbon-based life form, but he is not human. He is something called a hulnin, a star cousin of sorts to humans. In general terms, he’s higher in the food chain than a human. Just that fact alone makes me tremble, because I have interacted with fearsome humans in my time here on The Jupiter.

His olfactory receptors are highly attuned, since they evolved in a desolate, borderline ice age world. I suppose I never considered that his kind would also have hyperactive major histocompatibility complex genes. However, upon studying the literature on the subject, I have discovered that hulnin men, like Z-8368 have hyper-sensitive receptors for

For my human colleagues reading, please do not picture this hulnin as a primitive. Z-8368 “Frost” is just as intelligent, and perhaps moreso, as your average Homo sapien. He is not superfluous in his speech patterns; his mother tongue is a tonal, Asyndetonous, action-driven language. However, he has outwitted other doctors, guards, and most of our staff. I will admit, I like Frost as an individual. Typically, he is good conversation despite the language differences.

Do you see my concern? I cannot have Z-8368 in an uproar every time I enter his room. It is undoing his progress. I cannot have him resorting to violence and manipulation every time he smells “female” on me.

Thankfully, we were able to track the origin of the “female” scent. I know my human colleagues will not like this. The scent is coming from a human female, one that I interact with often but has never met Z-8368, and hopefully never will.

And this scent is not the result of poor hygiene. She actually smells… pleasant? I don’t know how to describe it, but I don’t think her scent products are what Z-8368 is picking up on. Especially when I interact with many different females, including other human females.

The human female’s name is Beatrice Vial. Beatrice works in the pharmaceutical lab. She packages the medicine bubbles for patients from 8AM to 6PM.

Z-8368 has been caught trying to sneak his empty med bubbles. Especially when Vial prepares his.

So now I reach out to you, humans and other carbon-based life forms of the galactic community. I cannot fire Vial not even a week into her time here on The Jupiter, but I also cannot let her scent sabotage Z-8368’s progress.

Is there a way to remove the supposed scent? Or at least mask it? Because from the way Frost describes it, it sinks into clothes and objects. And Vial seems entirely clueless to it.

I can’t have mutiny in my ward. I can’t watch Frost backpedal after all the progress we on The Jupiter have made.

My GOSHA regulator has shown me in the SOP manuals that I need to shower in between interactions, but that’s unfeasible for me. I often have to rush in between the pharmaceutical labs and patients in my ward.

I await your suggestions, GPB

Dr. Icarus Venusulphur

END LOG