Job, illets, marriage

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s been months job nhi mil rahi. Meri mama muhje bar bar bol rahi paisay zaya kiye Tumnay parhayi bi. She wants to give illets (masters kay liye). I wanna give it but I wanna put in some of the money by myself. I dont wanna ask her. And Ik she will take a loan out of me if I get admission. I wanna help her out contribute. I HAVE CHANGED MY CV SM TIMES BAR BAR KOI MASLA MUHJE LAG RAHA HAI USMEIN BECAUSE I KEEP APPLYING AND NO ONE ANSWERS ME BACK I HATE THIS SHIT JOBS SEARCHING SCHOLARSHIP SEARCHING THIS ALL IS MAKING ME FEEL SO OVERWHELMED I AM SO TIRED. Aur samnay wali aunty nay apni beti ki shadi karwa di hai Aur ab wo Meri mama ko boli jaa rahi Meri karwaye. I DONT WANNA DO IT RN