I wanna explore and cant resist...

I'm 30 and in a relationship. In the past, I’ve had a few experiences with men. Before my current long-term relationship, there were a couple of encounters — just blowjobs. Later, with my partner, we tried some pegging but she stopped because she thought i love men more. I’ve been on Grindr for a while and had a couple of dates. I really want to explore more, want to get fucked, but at the same time, I don’t want to end my relationship. Lately, these thoughts have been getting stronger… I feel like I can’t hold them back much longer.