A “friend” brought me 4 bottles of wine and expected a free 10-day holiday in my country

This “friend” would occasionally see my photos on social media and he wanted to come visit my country. For the few years we had known each other, he never once messaged me for a catchup. Then one day, he just suddenly messaged me saying he’s coming.

My partner and I were happy to have a visitor regardless. We said he could stay with us, and we could go on a road trip with him in our car. We even picked him up at the airport at 5am.

He showed up with 4 bottles of wine, max €7 each. We appreciated the gifts and insisted we shared the wine together on the trip. Then for the next 10 days, whenever we ate out, bought gas, paid for attractions and even hotels, he just stayed quiet and never offered to pay. Not a thank you either. We drove for 5 days over 1,000km. As for hotel, I told him explicitly the costs and he said he’s fine with it.

I got that the first day or two he might not have local cash, and it’s okay for us to treat him to a meal or two. But for 10 days??

He had free time in the city and he could have exchanged some money to pay for himself later and pay us back for the things we paid upfront for him.

We asked him nicely on the 4th day how he wanted to pay us back. He said bank transfer. So we waited. Then on his last day, just 4 hours before he flew, he still mentioned nothing. I got visibly cold and upset. At this point we had to bring it up again, show him the bill, and make him transfer right away before he left.

After the trip, he messaged us thanking us for the trip, and asked if he did anything inappropriate as a guest to help him improve.

Dude, I’m not your mom, therapist or teacher to teach you how to be a polite, functional adult. He’s a 30-year old software engineer working in Germany with good salary, not a teenager. Who the fuck shows up in a friend’s country and not pays a penny for your own holiday??

I cut him off on social media after the trip. I hope he can see why.