How to resist smoking urgues?

I use to smoke weed alot 2 years ago , i quit when i started to get on deen. im at such a low point in my life and im struggling to believe in God and i really just wanna be high and be dumb teenager again. Life was so good 2 years ago before i discovered islam. After i did i became so sad all the time. Now i feel religious guilt in any little thing i do espically being a girl i feel sinful for even existing