1 Day into NNN I be like...

I think about the source of media often. The life the artist must have lived, the circumstances of the recording and publishing of the music, and it eventually finding it's way to the person playing it on the aux. The mediator, spotify, or record labels making deals to strip the ownership rights of the music in exchange to play it for people.

I think about the mountains, how they must form from the tectonic plates, and crumble to the shore to become the beaches, and the water which is moved by the moon and washes the mountain-sand down the beach until it fills the deep ravines of the oceans opened by the tectonic plates moving to create the mountains. A full circle.

I think about the future. My inevitable death, and my likely Alzheimer's The very likely lung cancer and dementia of Lilith. How I'll cry. How when I'm alone, maybe I'll travel more, and live in forts, though my body will be old and broken, and I'll have money I could spend instead... maybe... or maybe seeing my current circumstance as "it happens to be" instead of "it is" would help me see that I am living on a limb as I seek in my daydreams of moving or alternative living.

I think about the world, the nations, the people, the fear, the happiness, the ignorance. The bleakness and hopefulness, the paradoxical nature of life being so hard and yet so easy to remain in a just living body. The psychological landscape. The unspoken underpinnings everyone has. Eating, shitting, showering, sleeping. Insurance. Taxes, enforced by military. Population as cattle, kept around by corporations to be milked for labor and money and power. Manipulated by politicians and media for advertising attention and justifying killing more. The disadvantaged, persecuted minorities. Do they suffer so the majority can flourish, or for the rich?

What of the squirels. The little rodents knowing not of all this. They know grass, and trees, and nuts, and predators, and streets, and cars, and people. Some of the two-leggers feed us. What of the insects. They know of dirt, and tunnels, and pheromones, and food, and trails, and dying for their queen. More numerous, weighty, and cohesive than man. Their influence is constant and invisible, but were they to vanish it would cause more change than all of humanity could muster, save for the n-word, the nuclear word.

And what of the micro-organisms, and the single celled organisms, who's natural life is incomprehensible to me. What do they know of, what food, and feeling, with no vision or senses. No knowledge of what world we'd see without them. Would the trees again turn to coal and oil? Would our food no longer spoil? Would nothing fall ill?

The future, the present, the past. Wars, disease, poverty, and insects. Inescapable. We say our world is incomprehensible to humans of the past, but I think only by degree. And our future will not be so alien or utopian to us. We have always had wars, disease, poverty, and insects.