Today I’m going to talk about one of my favorite philosophical theories — the theory of the three great loves that a person experiences in their lifetime, what each of them teaches you, and how I believe otl could illustrate the differences in the way a person loves and experiences relationships as they grow and heal. 
Of course, I’m not saying this will actually happen, and this isn’t a post meant to hate on anyone — it’s just something educational and illustrative. It pretty well sums up what Suae’s relationships have meant to me, or what I think they will mean, if the manhwa ends the way we hope in this sub. So, let’s get into it 🌟

1. Minu. The first love / the idealistic love 💔

It’s the kind of love that usually comes in adolescence or early adulthood, when you’re innocent enough to believe that love can conquer everything. It’s a pure, enthusiastic feeling, where you give your all without considering the consequences for yourself. You idealize an eternal future with that person, who seems perfect to you, even though deep down you’re aware of their flaws.

The way someone behaves in their first romantic experience reflects the vision of love they’ve seen at home, in various works of fiction, or in their culture. Expectations are projected, and we want that person to embody everything love represents for us — to show the same devotion that we show. When that fantasy world shatters and you realize that relationships aren’t like fairy tales, it can feel as if love itself has let you down.

The main lesson is that love alone isn’t  enough to make a relationship work, especially if only one person is putting in the effort. It also teaches what it means to give your heart and the cost of rebuilding it afterward. For me, this perfectly sums up Suae and Minu’s relationship. We see that she wanted to have a relationship like her parent's and that she was the only one fighting to make her relationship with Minu go that same way. She often underestimates how poorly Minu treats her, until a major betrayal shatters the very sandcastle she had built. And she learns that what you thing was love can betray you, and that it is far from perfect.

2. Eunhyuk. Painful love / transformative love 🖤

This love comes when we already have a bit more experience but are still trying to figure out who we are. It’s an intense relationship, sometimes toxic or contradictory, full of passion, desire, and conflict.
There can be highs and lows, breakups, and reconciliations. It’s not uncommon for one person to give more than the other, or for there to be emotional dependence. This love acts as an emotional mirror: it reflects our wounds, insecurities, and unconscious patterns. It can repeat dynamics learned in childhood (for example, wanting to “save” the other person, seeking approval, or fearing abandonment).
That’s why, even though it hurts, it’s a deeply transformative love. It forces us to face ourselves head-on. It teaches us the limits of love, and the difference between loving out of need and loving out of freedom. We learn to recognize self-love as essential: without it, love for another becomes unbalanced. This love, although it can be heartbreaking, also prepares us to truly love, because it strips us emotionally and shows us who we are without masks (If you ask me, this is clearly Soohyuk — or at least how it should end — because a relationship shouldn’t be rebuilt on these principles; you just learn from it and move on).

3. Dohwa. Mature love / true love💛🌟

This love usually appears when we’re no longer trying to fulfill an ideal, but rather to share life authentically. There are no games or unrealistic expectations. It doesn’t need grand gestures: it feels comfortable, stable, and deep. Sometimes it comes after we’ve lost hope, almost unexpectedly, when we’re no longer actively trying to “find love.” It emerges when we reach a certain emotional maturity: we no longer look for the other person to complete us, but to complement our wholeness. It’s a love that accepts imperfection — in both the other person and ourselves. It has solid foundations: respect, communication, empathy, and tenderness.It teaches us that true love isn’t the kind that consumes us, but the kind that gives us peace.
That loving isn’t losing yourself in the other, but walking together without ceasing to be yourself.
And that when both people are ready to love consciously, love stops being a whirlwind and becomes a home. It’s a love that flows naturally, there’s no constant fear of abandonment or excessive emotional dependence, each person accepts the other as they are, with both virtues and flaws. Mutual companionship and individual freedom are valued. It’s built on trust and the certainty that love doesn’t need to be dramatic and painful. It reflects the integration of lessons from previous loves: from the first love: the capacity for devotion and idealism; from the second love: the importance of self-love, boundaries, and understanding what harms us. This love is marked by emotional awareness: it acknowledges that love is a daily choice, not just a romantic impulse! It teaches that true intimacy is about accepting and being accepted, and that love isn’t a fleeting emotion, but a deep emotional commitment! 

And if you ask me… Soohwa has all the qualities and potential to represent exactly this, they don’t judge each other — they understand each other, communicate,  respect, and have fun together, and being with one another feels like a refuge where a gentle, warm light fills everything.

I think people who expect love to hurt and make you suffer in order to feel intensity, chemistry, or “deep” still have a lot to learn. That kind of love can be a stage from which to take a lesson, but it shouldn’t be the version of love that defines your life or the way you love and are loved.

And well, as I write this, I’m listening to Daylight, aka Soohwa’s song 🩷💛🎶

"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
(I can never look away)
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you
(Things will never be the same)
I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night
(Now I'm wide awake)
And now I see daylight (daylight), I only see daylight (daylight)
I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight
I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight
And I can still see it all (in my mind)
All of you, all of me (intertwined)
I once believed love would be (black and white)
But it's golden (golden)
And I can still see it all (in my head)
Back and forth from New York (sneaking in your bed)
I once believed love would be (burning red)
But it's golden
Like daylight, like daylight
Like daylight, daylight"

I will never feel guilty for wanting this to be the kind of love our dear fl Suae receives 💖

Suae, the theory of the three loves and what I want otl to represent: