What is this shiny, fuzzy, little monster?

I found this guy chilling on my kitchen sink. In the morning in Chinatown, Seattle, USA. I've just moved into a new apartment so I hope to God it's not a parasite of some kind. (I have an intense fear of parasites.) It seems to have six legs and two fuzzy little antennae. Its body is black and shiny but turns red when I shoot a flashlight at it. Whatever it is I'm terrified.

Oh by the way it's captured on a lint roller so it doesn't escape. Please help me. I am so very, very afraid.