My mum and dad (81) needs to stop ruining their kids lives and get therapy

My mum is divorced for 6 years. At every opportunity she rags on my dad (he was no angel) and the shitty life they had, and how us kids (ages 44, 44 and 51) ‘don’t know the half of it.’

But news flash, we fucking do!!! We grew up in that hell hole of a marriage. Our lives were miserable, always having to referee their constant arguing and fighting. Nothing in life mattered more, as long as they were the negative centre of attention. Mum wouldn’t divorce as she ‘stayed for her kids.’ And she says it with such pride, and is completely oblivious to the fact they fucked all of us up by making sure we were absolutely miserable.

Prime example, mum and dad held knives at each other’s throats over our 16th birthday cake that we made ourselves. When they finally calmed the fuck down - they made us smile over the cake for photos! Tear-streaked, red eyed faces with fake smiles on. Sure mum and dad, that’s a great one for the album!

Decades on, and we are all married with our own kids. We share the care of mum, but guess what? She’s not over the marriage at all and continues to martyr herself in every story. It really fucking pisses me off that she completely ignores our pleas to stop bringing the most miserable parts of our lives up, and not only that but to play the victim like she was the only one affected by it.

She’s deeply traumatised no doubt but so are we. She refuses any help or therapy, and worst of all never ever listened to her kids begging her to stop bringing up all our abusive miserable past lives. She is the most depressing person I have ever met, and also the most self-serving, wallowing in grief and misery at every opportunity.

Dad on the other hand, lives in a nursing home. This is his second, the first one kicked him out for being a massive arsehole. He doesn’t give a fuck what’s happening in anyone’s lives, just the fact that the home messed up what he wanted for dinner. He’s become bitter and racist, and jeers and mocks you if you don’t agree with him just like he did when we were kids. The funny thing is, he genuinely can’t understand why anyone doesn’t want to spend time with him.

They both need therapy, they both need to stop acting like spoilt kids. What scares me the most is that I might act like this in any way as an adult or parent. Fuck that shit.