Going back to work

I’m 5 months post partum with my little boy, he’s my first.

The plan was always to return to work at around the 12month mark. I kind of thought I wasn’t built for motherhood and I’d be happy to be back at work.

But now that I’m a mother, I love it so much, I never want to go back. I can’t bear the thought of handing him over to strangers for 40 hours a week.

I’m a high earner so walking away sounds mad, we could live off my husband’s salary but it would be a lifestyle change and would mean our retirement would be impacted.

I’m also older so if I took a few years out it would be difficult to get back into work at my level, I think anyway.

Am I mad? Or will I feel differently when he’s 1?!