Asked my husband to pick his family or cocaine and he picked cocaine

i never would have thought this would be my life. 2 years ago my husband met someone who introduced him to cocaine and hes been off and on it since then. until that time we were financially stable, happy, just had a baby. things were going really well in our lives. a year ago he went to rehab, got clean and i thought things would be ok as we got back on track.

well things had gotten really bad this past summer, he had clearly relapsed after being clean for months. he left to live a few hours away for 3 months with a woman who i later found out is a coke dealer. we barely spoke during that time and i was ready to file for divorce. he reached out, begged for forgiveness, said he would change. things i have heard all before, but i love him and i let him come home. this was about a month ago.

yesterday was halloween, we had plans for trick or treating with our son. around 4pm i could tell he was high on coke. he denied it, said he smoked a joint. like i dont know the difference between a weed high and a coke high. we argued of course. i was verbally very mean, said some mean things, told him he is a failure as a father and husband, said he is worthless, etc. and told him he needs to pick between me and our son, or the cocaine. i told him im taking our son trick or treating and when we get back he can let me know what his decision is.

he was gone when we got back, all his stuff was gone. his decision is clear and i am so heartbroken because i could fool myself before that if it came down to it he would pick his family, but now i know he didnt.