Advice wanted please about my child’s father

Hi,

For context this is mine and my husbands first baby. Due to maternity I do all the house work and 99% of the childcare.

He is doing 12 hour shifts and I understand he’s tired and he is paying all the bills (I still pay half the mortgage on my reduced pay) and I have a sex drive. I initiate any intimacy, it isn’t repaid.

I keep the house clean, do all the night feeds, make full meals from scratch and I am a good cook, friends and family always request I do the Sunday roast or bring a dish to a party (veggies, meat etc, nothing is store bought sauce etc), clean up after the animals such as wash their bedding and pick up their muck in the garden. I’m already back in pre pregnancy clothing size 10-12 and I’m the one always asking our ‘village’ if they’ll mind baby so we can have intimacy (obviously just tell village a date night). I’m hitting a wall with it, he hasn’t initiated it and I get planning is key with a baby but I offer oral sex, hand jobs etc once they’re in bed and he’s just never interested. Our sex life was destroyed while I was pregnant (baby was planned) as he finds pregnancy gross and although we’ve had sex 3 times since babe arrived (5mo old) it’s me who has initiated all of it. I’m fed up. I ensure he has time to unwind, but I literally do all of the emotional, domestic and mental admin as well as 99% childcare and house work. I try not to nag or get at him. He might put the bin out or empty the dishwasher.

I don’t think he knows how good he has it in regards to being fed proper food and a wife who actively wants sex post partum??? I feel so lonely and ‘unwanted.’ Am I missing something? Please come at me with your man logic.