(18F) My sexual awakening at my first semester in college

I’m 18 and in my first semester of college, and something happened yesterday that completely changed my perspective on sex and intimacy.

In high school, I dated a few guys. They were fine, but sexually it always felt like I was just going through the motions. I was performing what I thought intimacy was supposed to be instead of actually prioritizing my satisfaction and needs. I started to assume maybe that’s just how it was.

Then, yesterday, I met someone at a Halloween party who changed that. He carried himself with this quiet confidence. Not cocky, just sure of himself and it immediately put me at ease. We talked, laughed, and one thing led to another.

His name was Daniel, a 21 year old guy who frankly was hot as hell. He was like 6’ 4”, super muscular, and dressed up as Frozone from the Incredibles. (Which I loved as that movie is still one of my favorites!) We got along so well and eventually he asked me to go back to his place. I instantly agreed.

I’m not going to go into super explicit details but let’s just say it was the best most mind blowing sex I’ve ever had. I had no idea I could feel the things I felt, but my god was it amazing.

Last night was the first time I felt genuinely satisfied sexually and It wasn’t just about what happened physically. It was the emotional part that hit me. I didn’t feel small, awkward, or like I was doing something wrong. I felt like I could just let go of any control and that I was allowed to actually just enjoy the moment.

Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about how little I knew myself before that. How many times I settled for less because I didn’t know what “right” could feel like.

I don’t know what comes next, but I feel different now. More self-aware, more confident in what I need. I guess I just needed to say all of this somewhere.