My cousin’s live-in partner is full of drama and is ruining our closeness.

Problem/Goal: My cousin and I have been very close since we were kids. But his partner for 2 years now, whom he already has a 1 year old child with, is full of drama. She always makes it an issue whenever we go out.

Context: To be frank, I’ve never really liked this partner of his. She’s full of red flags, and I don’t think she will be a good influence to my cousin. But at the end of the day, it’s my cousin’s call and I can be happy for him as long as he is happy.

I did all I can to make the girl feel welcomed in the family. I actively engage her so she can be a part of the family conversations during gatherings, because she seems like a closed door. It’s totally fine if she’s introverted, I just wanted to make her feel that she belongs.

And although I’ve had my doubts with her, I accepted my cousin’s invite to be the godfather of their son. It’s his child too anyway and it wasn’t a surprise since we were really close.

I also tried to give her a gig a year ago, because my friend was looking for an employee which she is skilled about. I referred her, only for her to make a “no show”.

My cousins also funded her small shop, which is closed a lot of time because this girl has other priorities. I’m not surprised if it’s not earning anything, since she’s not making any actions to build a clientele.

But what I can’t really stand is that when me, my cousins, and our other friends (we have mutual friends) go out to have fun, this girl makes it an issue. She slanders me by telling other people that I bring my cousin and my friends to whorehouses, and pick up girls in bars. That I am a bad influence. It’s crazy toxic. Especially when I treated my cousin and friends with complimentary concert tickets. I could’ve given those to someone else where I won’t experience this type of drama.

Now I’m actively avoiding meeting my cousin and inviting him out, because I know there will be a bag of toxicity that will be brought coming from his partner. Should I just completely avoid them and let it be just to avoid toxicity?

PS: I know about what she says about me coming from a friend. The girl is friends with the girlfriend of this friend of mine, whom she share all the bad assumptions about me. And to be clear, the worst thing me and my cousin did is smoke greens in a concert with our guy friends. Greens came from him too.