What's the deal with people conflating the occurance and possibility of men having an attraction to cute things with rape? And why is pdfilia conflated with a specific kind of r*pe? We literally have the word non-offending for a reason. And honestly, what makes the attraction to neotony different?

Yeah.
Pretty fucking obvious questions in the title, but its worth asking them for one simple reason;
Because most people are too fucking scared to ask them, in fear of being labelled a pdfile.

And that's understandable.
Esp since there's always the question of, "Why don't we just do protected sex" which is often dismissively answered with "Kids can't consent", which I agree with for the sake of my ability to not be seen in a particular way, BUT also because of the gut feeling of fear that overrides my logical thinking,

Because logically, it would work.
And my gut feelings tell me instinctively, well, that there's a power imbalance
Which is not false
But also, I'm an example of someone who is incredibly careful around kids
Making sure not to look them in the eyes unless its 'socially sensible' or 'permittable'

But my god.
Why is there all this purity culture bullshit that has overridden my gut-response to things?
I am empathic already, yes, but holy fuck...

And also, since these topics always beg to question the morality of the one typing it, unlike other topics(although most topics always make me needlessly question my morality & myself in general i.e. "What gives you the right to speak on these topics you fuckwad? Who are you speaking on behalf of? If you're speaking on behalf of your own experience, then get ready to get fucked cause nobody cares about your experience & knowledge OR just outright guesswork of an arrangement of words that seems appeasing to responding to & addressing questions with these things")

Which makes me resent and hate those who lack this compulsion to question themselves whenever they do something like what I'm doing now - minus all the monologuing cause they're sociopaths or something, which frames them as being lesser, which, they aren't lesser...? Or maybe they are & I shouldn't force myself to reframe things just to be socially-acceptable, because appeasing to everyone, means you appease no one except your own personal sense of security...

But anyways,
I've already iterated some of this stuff in the past as others have to me in the past;
#1 Double standards with Pedophilia/Child-handling
Males are treated as absolute degens, and women, are treated as being motherly. There is no definition of fatherliness that excuses acting motherly seemingly, & it coincides heavily with anti-gay rhetoric... yet for some reason my guts tell me the same message, and make me feel repulsed by men who speak in a motherly tone of voice or something... Its weird. And I ought to wonder how much my gut feelings are based on inherited fears from "nature" or "nurture", genetics for survival or hammering in from implicit messaging that I didn't think twice to question due to my fear of what would happen if I did so...

#2 Expressing unconventional likes & dislikes
Men are expected to like dirty or physically detached things, whilst women are expected to be materialistic & emotional. So when men break implicit rules relating to the former, they're treated as either weird or fragile(depending on their age sometimes too, like if they're in my age group, say, 14 or early to maybe even their late 20's, which also depends on appearance, as some people age faster appearance-wise)
So also, men liking girly things, gets framed as degenerate, or, in today's day & age, as a sign that they're secretly trans, which, I can understand sure, but like... it just feels so... gut-feeling-based, you know? And gut feelings I've heard are the antithesis of logic, of epistemology, which yes may have issues in its deducing of things, but like... I just feel weirded out all the same by these things despite the logic & rationalisations I have in store for just these things...

#3 Expressing certain things overtly
If you express that you say, want long hair cause its cute, and you're a dude, & its with your parents or anyone in general...Ok this is moreso personal & getting off track honestly...but just the prospect of saying that you do, is enough for my gut to already feel revolsion...

Ok long story short; Your gut feeling is there to protect you from being coerced & to protect you from future long term threats to your identity being valid/invalid. Not a professional opinion I know, most of this just directly applies to myself really.
& also, there's no point in stating "I've never comitted X crime incase you're wondering cause I talked about that crime" cause people just will see it as a confession of guilt by default - even if its just their gut telling them that its a confession of guilt, for the sake of self-preservation &/or being seen in the right or whatever the fuck.

And challenging your gut feelings is a necessary endeavor, no matter how much social-pressure begs you to do otherwise...Freedom is the means by which this is possible...And you also need to have some ability or means by which to make overcoming your gut feelings... well yeah moral relativism is one method sure, but I just can't help but fear I can't get over the implications even when I am doing some other thing... like I have been hard-wired to be obedient & loyal to morals even when no ones watching... cause I guess people are technically watching your search results all the time? Heh yeah... Sorry for being so scrambled, I'm just... not able to talk about topics like these cohesively given their obviously taboo status & the need to somehow be cohesive about them, even though the gut feelings other people have, begs for me to over-clarify or feel incompetent because that's how it has to be talked about, cause otherwise, if you're competent, people can... assume guilt cause victims(people who reach out) aren't competent... & thus consequently need to show their thought process vs the elite-establishment people who just get accepted without even having to show their thought process cause of unconditional love or some systemic bullshit.

Its really confusing, I still need help, & I am lonely. And also fuck fucking people. I don't get kicks out of sex, and the people who do, are seriously sociopathic or some shit. ERP is hardly comparable to real sex by the way, yet I still don't do it, because of what it symbolises to me.

And I think the biggest thing of all here is that; Core-beliefs or whatever, which one follows via their gut somehow & also maybe their mind if their able to & don't have ADHD(cause the gut feeling is how I compensate for lacking the ability to access logic when my brain inside me, is in a social-situation, thus working off of auto-pilot, thus no room for any working memory at all seemingly except for when I am given atleast some space verbally by other people), can corode the ability to have an open conversation if everyones definitions are thrown off, namely everyone who is in charge & has any authority + people in the crowd who are in the know of said people's authority's legitimacy, don't trust them or something...

Yeah ok I think I'll cut my rambling off here. This anime girl is hot though, right? Also she's totally underaged, so ummm... no yeah totally *insert breaking bad quote "I'm not the one in danger! I am the danger!"* jk

Rapedy Napedy! Get it? Cause I has le fettish. \"Hahah, very tragic! Please don't ever speak to me again!\" <- thing that so-called rational person might say, but in reality, they're just disgusted & following their disgust to make decisions for them or smthn, idk... maybe they just dislike the joke cause they find it unfunny, which is understandable, but why the fuck should I be forced to care about what they care about? Fuck them!