Going C L E A R

We need to get INCREDIBLY and I mean crystal clear on what theses patterned behaviors actually are.

Discard = abuse

Orbiting = stalking = abuse

lovebombing = deception = abuse

future faking = deception = abuse

using someone for your own ends and getting them to give you certain benefits in a false agreement = deception = abuse

acting like what happened didnt happen and everything is ok = gaslighting= psychological abuse

THE WHY of their messed up childhood, ex whatever, doesn't matter because the WHAT is STILL abuse. They know the victim card works and play that. Don't take the bait. Adults are responsible for their actions- period.

Are you traumatized? Having a hard time functioning in your day to day adult life?

That is because you have been abused. And you are acting like someone who has been TRAUMATIZED. WE need to validate ourselves. THIS is a normal reaction to ABNORMAL ABUSIVE TRAUMATIC BEHAVIOR that is under NO circumstances acceptable or OK.

A little bit about me, I just saw my ABUSIVE covert narcissistic avoidant ex first time in six months. He walked up to me in a way where he made me always walk into him. When I ignored his advance he followed me all night at a slight distance. I felt HUNTED. Don't think these people are ok or 'just hurt from childhood' whatever. I am about to have to go up against the board of our local dance community I have taught in for 10 years bc they are considering hiring his band for a dance and explain why he is not a safe person. I am treating it like court. I have to get CLEAR. And yes, THEY DO know what they are doing which is why they chose to do it behind closed doors. And they do it cause it works.

I thought perhaps my clarity would help someone else. Don't feel sorry for them and do not insulate them from consequences which are they only thing this type responds to. I am using everything I have got let inside me to fight for myself, my community, and my passions all of which this nightmare of a man has threatened. DO NOT give up- get clear, be your own advocate. Be strategic, be shrewd- bc you BEST believe THEY are. And this is not your friend, this is not your love. This is your opponent, and this is your enemy. Love does NOT behave this way!

Wishing you all the best. And I'm not anxious attachment either, but I will say, I wouldn't dare compare anxious and avoidant. I dated an anxious- he stressed me a bit but was a good guy. Avoidant is on another level. Not even the same ballpark! If you're anxious, you're not my cup of tea relationally but love yall as friends and I hope you heal bc you are good ppl!