Im in love with my best friend

I always felt like I knew deep down, it always felt like everyone around us knew. Suddenly I was sat here a bit drunk and I started crying, thinking about how i was in love with my best friend friend. On a random Saturday evening. I have seen the way she looks at me, I’ve never felt so loved until she looks at me. But another part of me hates it and doesn’t want to feel this way. On some level I feel guilty, like I’m not good for her or I want to run away. I think I will keep it to myself because i don’t want to ruin our friendship. I just feel hopeless because I have a hate/love relationship towards her at times.