[36F] I don't know what I'm doing wrong

I only use online dating because I have anxiety. I feel like my personality is turning guys away. Did anyone have a similar problem and you were able to fix it? I just am somewhat awkward and shy and have anxiety. That is hard for me to change, I have tried so many things to change myself and I can't. I was triggered because I went on a date with [33M] and the texting beforehand was great. On the date I really liked him but after he said 'I don't think it's going to work.'

If it's because of my age, looks, or job, I don't care because those I can't change or have chosen my job (work in a restaurant). But I feel like I don't have that confidence, swag to lock a guy in. It's just triggering to think I'm not talkative or bubbly enough.

I feel like there's a secret formula that I don't know how to do lol like a romantic dance you're supposed to do to like lock or get someone to fall for you where they can't resist being around you. Because that's what others are able to do and they have long term relationships. It's sad for me to think I don't have that.

I have had 3 2-year relationships since I was 25. It's a long story. I think I have issues/trauma from my childhood but I know other people who do too who were able to get a long term commitment. Like I'm afraid I won't get that. Did anyone have a similar issue of wanting a long term relationship and you got it and where did you meet the person? Because the online dating I'm getting so frustrated. I feel like the guys on there are clueless or not looking for long term. Like I'm looking for long term marriage. I have been more straight forward in describing myself like I'll message 'Hi, I'm looking for something long term. I'm more quiet and reserved. I prefer to do a video call.'

Some other things, there are 2 other guys who show interest in me. I really don't mean to be offensive but one of them seems slow once I met him in person so that is just not an option. The other one idk if he is crazy and will bring drama into my life. Like he is really high energy but I need to talk more to him to see if he has good values and good attitude.

Please no trolls who try to bring me down. I'm ok with honest advice but I can tell when someone is hateful and snarky/nasty on here. I only say that because I posted on here before and some people really weren't trying to be helpful but were trolls.