I don’t know what to do anymore

Im 30M and I have no friends (because I live hundreds of miles away from where I grew up) and I’ve never had a serious relationship. I’ve had 2 girlfriends but we never lived together, never had kids, nor did I ever envision the rest of my life with them. I fell in love with someone a couple of years ago and she ended things basically because I am too much. It has devastated me. I haven’t been the same since because I was convinced I had met my future wife and the future mother of my children. I have no drive to make friends, Im trying my damn best to get away from porn, and I have exhausted the dating apps to an embarrassing degree. I get no matches. Im either in a widespread group chat where all the women tell each other to avoid me or my appleid is flagged and im a shadowbanned. I work a lot with a crazy schedule. I would make the time for someone but there’s no one. Not even someone to have sex with. Im just overflowing with feelings and my sex drive is still the same as when I was 16. Its excruciating. People always tell me Im good looking and it’s gotten me nothing. Socially im very awkward so I guess that must be weird for people to meet a handsome potential autist. (Im not autistic it’s sarcasm. Interacting with people is difficult for me) Im just exhausted by the silence. Nobody is around. On my days off i see my parents but im in a neverending loop of work, my parents and the silence. I dont know how to deal with this. I always envisioned myself married and with kids. The older I get and the more it doesn’t happen the more I believe it wont. I even got upset over something small at work today and snapped at my boss. Happy people dont do that. It just reminded me that im deeply unhappy and lonely. And it feels like nobody cares.