Break up advice/vent

I was dating someone who was not Christian. I felt convicted to leave, so I did. But we’ve kinda kept in contact a bit with the intentions that we’d take time to self reflect and work on potentially fixing things. Well he informed he lost feelings for me two months ago, so six weeks after we broke up, but refused to tell me. He admitted to “keeping me around” essentially as a back up, which hurt so much.

It was dumb to even try to fix things with someone who is clearly not from the Lord, and now I just feel even more stupid for being treated like this by him. I lashed out and said hurtful things and I have so much anger for him right now. I apologized, we talked a bit, and then this morning I explain how he hurt me but that I hope he had a good life and blocked him before getting a response. I’m not proud of how things ended, but it was clear one of us was hurting more than the other and I mentally couldn’t take it anymore.

I feel sick, and sad, and idk what to do. He told me he didn’t love me, and honestly I don’t feel much love for him either after how I’ve been treated, but I miss the familiarity. He felt like my only friend. I want to move on and be happy with a Christian man, but it feels impossible to find any real Christian man. The good ones are taken and the rest say they’re Christian but their actions make me question what their real intentions are. My young adults feels so cliquey which makes it feel impossible to approach anyone, and because I’m starting practicum soon every guy who seemed half decent ghosted me when they found out i will be moving cities every two months for the next year.

I just don’t want to be sad and alone for the next year, nor do I want to be tempted to run back to this ex. Im not “behind” by any means in life, I’m only 20, but when all my past friends are engaged and married and starting families I just feel like I’m behind cause I’m alone. How do I make this sadness go away and trust that God actually has a plan for me, cause I hate to admit it but I feel so abandoned.