My Situation with HRT

So I tried HRT for about a month. My last shot was about 10 days ago and I'm supposed to take it every week. When I was on HRT, I kept thinking about just getting off of it because my dysphoria wasn't genuinely bad enough and I'm taking to this girl and I kinda want my dick working. I ran out of supplies for injections last week and I thought of this as a perfect opportunity to pause and reevaluate if I really wanted this. Genuinely every night I have been going to sleep ever since I have started HRT I just keep getting paranoid about my life falling apart because of it and really convinced myself to stop it because I couldn't really handle the stress. Now that I'm off of it though, my dysphoria is back in full swing and I genuinely dont know what to do about it. I don't even know what it is but the only times I'm like concrete about taking HRT is when I'm not on it and the only times when I convince myself to not take it is when I'm on it. I genuinely don't know what to think. I kinda gaslighted myself into thinking im faking it over the past month of taking HRT and now that I'm off of it I feel the dysphoria again. This doesn't even make sense either because obviously I haven't seen too many physical changes. The weirdest thing is that I didn't actually feel any mental changes when I was on estradiol either. Should I wait for my hormone levels to return to normal cis guy levels before getting back on it to see how I feel or is this proof that my dysphoria is real? Any advice is appreciated. (Side note: My dysphoria isn't genuinely bad enough to make me depressed or whatever ATM its just kinda like sometimes I'll just feel this pang of sadness and just freeze up for a second. Its happened in public too where I'll just be chilling with friends and I'll just suddenly feel super sad for whatever reason. It always just goes away in a few seconds though.)