to my ex

My ex, with whom everything is already over, yet I still feel like I haven’t fully let you go. I loved you so deeply; we planned a future together, my move to your country. We talked about a proposal. But unfortunately, none of it happened because I constantly felt unloved in this relationship. I was always missing something. Not enough attention, not enough understanding, not enough surprises. Not enough masculine energy. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I could no longer keep hating myself and ignoring my mental state. I was dying in this relationship — as a woman, as someone loved, and as a person.

It’s been almost two months since I ended things. You wrote to me hoping to bring everything back, saying that this breakup made you realize what you lost. But why wasn’t any of this appreciated for one year and a few months before…

You were too late. I chose myself. And on my path, I met a wonderful person, and with them, I am blooming like a flower. I am happy. But all the places, the spots, the moments in my city where we were together still feel like a knife in my heart. It hurts to understand that these are memories now and will never be reality again. I hope you’re doing well. Goodbye.