Caring for a spouse who had a stroke

Is anyone out there going thru the same thing? Looking for someone to connect with for mutual emotional support.

I’m 52 and my wife had a stroke nearly 6 years ago that has left her partially disabled with the loss of her dominant arm/hand and leg. I am her caregiver, as well as having taken on all of the household duties, working full time, and essentially being a single parent to our 16 year old.

I am grieving. It is like a slow goodbye. Life changed forever on Dec 16 2020, in an instant. Even going out to eat is a chore. Forget going on hikes in the mountains, etc (one of my dreams was an Alaskan cruise and there is no way she can do the excursions). And our relationship also suffers. She is no longer affectionate (no hugs, no cuddling, no holding hands, etc.) and honestly, does not even seem grateful or appreciative for all I have done - and continue to do - for her day in and day out. What I wouldn’t give to have my hand held, or a hug.

And she has had no motivation to do the exercises from PT/OT so her recovery is non-existent. And I actually resent her for that. It has been a waste of time and money. She seems quite content to sit on the couch every day watching TV or playing games on her ipad.

I get that she did not ask for this - neither did I. She had the stroke - but we are both suffering from it. And things will not improve.