We aren’t together anymore…

Im (F, 25) currently alone in our apartment with my puppy. We just got a puppy together….we were supposed to put up our Christmas decorations this weekend. TOMORROW was supposed to be our FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!! :(

For years I knew my now ex-bf (M, 28) has a porn addiction and I tried to be okay with it. I always told myself it would never escalate and that he wouldn’t do me wrong… besides watching porn. Well I’ll be damn, call me a fool 😂😂😂

Something told me to check his work phone and I found a suspicious DoorDash order he made during a work trip recently. With that in mind I went through his deleted messages and lord and behold I found a conversation thread between him and someone he met from work. I immediately confronted him and I begged him to be honest if they had done anything together physically. He claims no, but you never really know. Should I get tested? He explained the emotions and curiosity he’s been suppressing and he ended up exchanging pictures with an older man and to me that is cheating. I don’t think he can regain my trust. I miss his presence, but how can he do that while in a committed relationship!!

We just got a fucking puppy and our life together was growing!! 5 years down the drain. My family also lives 6 hours away and I don’t have a car. I stayed in the apartment and he’s gone. I’m devastated. I just needed to rant.