I hate being autistic so much

all my friends joke about when I’m with them is my autism. That’s it. It’s always the joke. No matter what I do around them it’s disregarded. To them it’s sooo funny. I feel like every kid my age does this

The other day in class a kid kept shouting the r-word so I just gave him a funny look. He asked me “why are you looking at me like that?” And all I said was “I don’t think you’re supposed to be using that word” and he immediately yelled “of course you would be offended, autistic” in front of my whole class. I hadn’t told anyone I was autistic. I tried to lie and say I wasn’t and then he pointed at me and said “look at you! Look at how your standing!” I felt so embarrassed and humiliated

For Halloween my friend invited me out with his new girlfriend. I mentioned a little fact about my favorite animal and the first thing she said was “baby, are you autistic?” And everyone bursted out laughing. It was the joke of the night. They just kept saying it. Turns out my friend had introduced me to her as his “autistic friend”. By the way, I’ve known this guy since I was 2. He had told her my deepest secrets relating to my mental health.

Today I was sitting with this guy I know for his birthday and he made a joke about me being autistic in a restaurant full of people. When I glanced at him he found my “side eye” hilarious. His friends little sister even said “you can’t trust his opinion, he’s autistic” and they all laughed