An update about my crush

Some of you might remember me posting about a boy I met at the bar a couple months ago. Anyway.

We’ve been hanging out once or twice a week for a while now. The first time, we went to the lake together and he was shaking with nerves. I held him for a while and had him match his breathing with mine. We told each other secrets and found a necklace buried in the sand. He still has it hanging from his rear view mirror.

A couple weeks later, we went back to the same spot and he showed me how he knows what the fish are doing just by looking at the top of the water. I kissed him then for the first time. We both had chapped lips so we decided that we’re blood brothers now.

Once he drove an hour to visit me on my break at work. It was dark and rainy and he said he listened to Motown songs the whole ride down. He brought me a Full Throttle energy drink. I guess now I know who buys those. It tasted terrible.

We still haven’t had sex. I think both of us are a little scared. We sing songs together in his car and smoke weed together (he’s the only person I’ve ever smoked with who didn’t scare me in some way) and sometimes that feels a little bit like sex. It’s vulnerable.

I think I love him and I can tell he probably thinks he loves me too. We tell each other about how we fantasize about falling asleep together. I’m flying home for the holidays soon and I’m going to give him a scarf sprayed with my perfume. He’s going to give me one of his shirts to sleep in while I’m gone.

I hope one day we end up together. I’ve never met anyone like him.