I'm starting to consider that life as a store worker is literally not a life worth living

A bit of context: I went to a good school, had amazing grades, had a high school major in Electronic maintenance.

All of my colleagues and peers have good technician jobs, good paying shit.

While that... I got my degree anulated cause I wasn't able to fulfill bureaucracy in time, and now I'm stuck having a "Subjob" in retail.

My pay is shit, I don't have time for anything, my father lost his job recently and I'm the only person working in my home.

At the start of this year I began self medicating with prescription medicine which I have no prescription for because I can’t pay for someone to take care of my head. "But OP, how do you use prescription meds without prescriptions" it's really not uncommon for pharmacists or people with access to those meds to sell some of them illegally, the main problem is my dad losing his job has put an even bigger strain on my finances forcing me to drop the meds and now my head feels like it wants me dead 24/7, like I'm getting so easily stressed over everything but then I have lapses, I see wtf I'm thinking and it puts me to tears noticing how fucked I am.

I ran from my original theme a bit I guess.