I have a very hard time not objectifying people, mainly women. The more emotionally deep I get with someone, the less my labido, almost like a seesaw with emotion on one side and sex on the other side. It’s like I cannot hold the two thoughts in my head at the same time… I fucking hate it

It is not at all related to attraction. That comes first of course, if I am not at attracted to someone, it doesn’t even advance. I know this behavioral problem is a product of my childhood sexual abuse, and for the life of me, I have tried so hard to bridge that gap. It screwed with every relationship I had and was a major catalyst to the downward spiral of my marriage.